Sebastian
– Yeah, 12, middle school, karate, computer games, blah, blah, blah. You know
this stuff, right? Did you know that he is my only kid that randomly stops me
wherever I am and says, “Can I hug you?” Yes, I love this about him. He is very
not emotional a lot of the time. He is like me in that he says what he believes
to be factual even though sometimes it isn’t maybe the most loving way to
phrase something. But, inside his heart and soul, he is a gentle and kind boy
that will stop me and say, “I need a hug.” He loves his dog, Scout. He keeps
him by his side much of the time. But, now we have our new puppy, Rainy, and
Bass is playing with her and trying to train her. It has been fun watching this
new side of him with this new family member.
Savy –
18, senior, Sonic employee, make-up artist, creativity oozing everywhere, blah,
blah, blah. You know this stuff, too. Did you know that she always takes the
time to walk with her Grandma and put out her arm to help steady her? Did you
know that she created a beautiful plant area by our otherwise downright ugly
back door space? How about that now that she drives – she runs errands for me a
lot. Silly, but it’s not been an easy year for me to get stuff done – so this
simple kindness means the world to me. This has not been the greatest year for
our relationship. I’m all about real, so I say this because if somebody else
struggled with somebody they love – it’s okay to say that sometimes you love
people, but you still disagree. I raised a very strong young woman. Sometimes,
it is like battling with myself. I do believe that God has very special plans
for this girl I prayed for Him to send me. I am happy to say that we are close,
we love each other fiercely, and we have a connection that was one of my
greatest wishes for my life.
Tim II
aka Timmy. When he first died, I could only call him Timmy to everyone. I think
because he will always be my baby. Over time, I can now remember he grew to be
Tim II. He grew to be a wonderful man. I miss him, but even more these days – I
miss what he was supposed to add to my life. A wife, babies, and grand dogs. I
live in a constant battle of accepting what is and giving thanks for what was.
Did you know that he stayed with me while I labored with Sebastian? He made
jokes and kept me company. When Bass was born, Timmy came in and stayed with me
till the early morning hours. Tim took Savannah home to bed. But Timmy sat
there holding his brother and making me laugh. There was so much love in that
room. It was one of my most favorite moments in this journey.
Woofie –
you may or may not know that she was my dog kid for almost 16 years. We had to
send her home to Timmy just recently. I knew it would be hard, but I had no
idea how much this would hurt. I miss this sweet soul in my life so much. I
don’t think I have peed in 16 years without her standing next to me demanding that
I pet her. Our lives were truly made better by a gentle, always shedding,
always in the way, magnificent dog. I know she is with her boy and she is still
probably always shedding and always in the way in heaven! The good news is our
new puppy, Rainy, also follows me everywhere and I didn’t get to pee alone for
very long. She faithfully demands that I pet her anytime I sit on the toilet!
She doesn’t replace my sweet Woofie, but at least I won’t have to be lonely on
the potty.
Everything
with my husband is pretty much the same – work, rental houses, and oh yeah…
Pokemon. He loves taking Sebastian out on Sunday afternoons to catch ‘em
all. It has been a great thing for the
two of them to do together and it gives me a couple hours of alone time.
Me? Well,
I am choosing to focus on the joy this year. If I am being real, I have some
sort of autoimmune pain – maybe fibromyalgia – that has really ticked me off
this year. I am not writing to whine, complain, or get sympathy. It is what it
is and I think the lesson I am learning from it has been the lesson my mom has
been preaching at me all along. Do not take time for granted. Do not push off
things you really want to do until tomorrow. The joy and the gratitude is that
meds make a huge difference. How can I not be thankful when I have amazing
help! There has been a shift in my life this year – Savy is much more
independent and Sebastian is moving into the roll of a doer. He has classes and
stuff going on and much of the time – it is just me and him doing life. In some
ways, I really miss managing more kids, but in other ways – I enjoy the ease of
guiding this last baby along his way. Of course – Savy will have college stuff
to guide and more adulting to oversee. I think we are moving into an intriguing
time. 2017 is going to bring more travel because the best way to learn about
the world is to see it. And, hopefully, it will be filled with joy even if
there has to be a few icky, no good, bumps along the way. I hope this “gift”
from me brings you a smile and you feel like I sent you some love. Hug your
people and have a Merry Christmas and an absolutely JOY filled New Year!
Lots of Love,
Tim, Kari, Savy, and Sebastian
