Faith...

I know I am supposed to be posting birthday party pictures and I will... I promise. They are stuck in my camera and I am sitting on the swing outside. Sebastian is sitting in the swing next to me. He slept pretty lat this morning - till 9:30! I think he is coming down with bug Savannah is getting and many of our friends have. Anyway... that is not what the Faith title is about. Although I do have faith that I will survive if they both get sick. I won't like it, but I will survive. What is my title about? Some things I have been tossing around in my mind over and over and over again. Yesterday, it had been ONE YEAR since I lost my job. Yep, it went that fast. I half expected the phone to ring and hear I sold my house and then that Tim had got the SC job. I was literally hoping that this particular day would prove to be the end of this long road. Not surprisingly, no phone calls came with that information. A year ago today, I was sitting freaked out on my porch swing. What the heck were we going to do if I didn't have a job? How would we afford to live? How would we get our house ready to sell? So many scary questions. I was so completely freaked out! And yet here I am today sitting on my swing. I am still freaked out, but I can also see that everything has been provided for. We didn't starve and we haven't had to claim bankruptcy just yet. I don't know when we are going to sell this house. Nothing makes sense in the housing market these days. I don't know when we will move. I just know that I have faith it is all going to work out. This brings me back to when I was up in South Carolina working on the house. I was putting Savannah's border up in her new room. All of a sudden, my memory went back to when I was putting her border up in her Florida room. It was a few months before Sebastian would be born. My mom and I painted and put up a new border for the room they now share. I was in there alone and looking at the border when I was just overwhelmed with grief. This was the first room I had decorated since Debi had died. We had always gone over color options and border options and just decorating together. We would plan and talk about every detail. I sat on the floor and sobbed. It felt so horrible to be decorating a room without talking to her about it. So, here I am decorating another room for Savannah and now it is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the house that Debi lived in! How strange is that? If you had told it to me when I was decorating the Florida room over 3 years ago - I would have said you were nuts! Somehow God led me to buying this house in South Carolina. I guess His plan could change and we could never even move into that house, but I really don't see that as the plan right now. I know that for some reason that is where we are supposed to be. I guess I am rambling. I have so many things I am not really that sure of. I spend alot of my day questioning every decision I make. I have to remind myself to just have FAITH. It is not in my timing, but in God's timing.

Savannah's Florida Room

Savannah's South Carolina Room without furniture.

Her border up close.