Just another day...

Today is just another day for so many people. It is Friday to them. It is payday or maybe it is the start of the weekend. Whatever it means to them - it is just another day. Today - for me - is the day my oldest son moved to Alaska. We drove to Charlotte in the wee hours of the morning. It was barely 4am. We talked a little bit here and there. I found myself thinking back to taking him to pre-k for the first time. That same lump in my heart appeared. Taking him to pre-k was just another day too. I took him to his class and he was so happy to be there. He was the same age that Sebastian is now. I went out to my car and I cried. I cried so hard that I was sobbing. I remember driving down East Bay and looking at people in their cars. To them it was just a typical Monday morning. They had no idea why that crazy young woman was sobbing at the stoplight. This morning, I looked at my son wearing his hoodie. He is off to Alaska and yet he doesn't have a winter coat or gloves or a hat. I felt like I needed to tell him to put his coat on and zip it up. It was cold in NC this morning and by the time he flies from NC to GA to TX to WA to finally ALASKA it will be freezing. It didn't matter that he will be 20 in less than two weeks. It didn't matter that he is a soldier. I looked at my boy and thought how much he needed a coat and gloves. He assured me they would issue him a parka. I asked if he could get one on Saturday because I can't imagine him waiting until Monday. He said yes, but I think with the hint of "I am just saying this for you mom" in his voice. I left him at the airport and made my way home. It was just another day of highway drivers. My mind has thought of so many days over the last twenty years. The way I cried when he walked his baby walker down the stairs. Then there was that funny day that he picked up a fish off the ground. He put it on his fish hook and came home to trick me. He told me he caught the fish. I got my camera and took a very proud picture. Only later did he tell me that he had fooled me. That was just a typical spring day when he was about 8 years old. As we were driving last night, he mentioned the huge raccoon on the side of road. The minute he said raccoon, I thought of our camping trip in High Springs. The raccoons tried to eat our s'more stuff. On one of those days of camping, Timmy hand fed a deer. I held my breath as he did it. All of those days seem so far away and yet like they were just yesterday. So, today is just another day. It is a day where I miss my child so much that the tears are just a second away. I am proud of him and I know he has to go. I just wish it wasn't so far away. If you see me driving down the road - crying at a stoplight - it is because it is just another day that my son is so far away.