Friday, February 20, 2009
Today is just another day for so many people. It is Friday to them. It is payday or maybe it is the start of the weekend. Whatever it means to them - it is just another day. Today - for me - is the day my oldest son moved to Alaska. We drove to Charlotte in the wee hours of the morning. It was barely 4am. We talked a little bit here and there. I found myself thinking back to taking him to pre-k for the first time. That same lump in my heart appeared. Taking him to pre-k was just another day too. I took him to his class and he was so happy to be there. He was the same age that Sebastian is now. I went out to my car and I cried. I cried so hard that I was sobbing. I remember driving down East Bay and looking at people in their cars. To them it was just a typical Monday morning. They had no idea why that crazy young woman was sobbing at the stoplight. This morning, I looked at my son wearing his hoodie. He is off to Alaska and yet he doesn't have a winter coat or gloves or a hat. I felt like I needed to tell him to put his coat on and zip it up. It was cold in NC this morning and by the time he flies from NC to GA to TX to WA to finally ALASKA it will be freezing. It didn't matter that he will be 20 in less than two weeks. It didn't matter that he is a soldier. I looked at my boy and thought how much he needed a coat and gloves. He assured me they would issue him a parka. I asked if he could get one on Saturday because I can't imagine him waiting until Monday. He said yes, but I think with the hint of "I am just saying this for you mom" in his voice. I left him at the airport and made my way home. It was just another day of highway drivers. My mind has thought of so many days over the last twenty years. The way I cried when he walked his baby walker down the stairs. Then there was that funny day that he picked up a fish off the ground. He put it on his fish hook and came home to trick me. He told me he caught the fish. I got my camera and took a very proud picture. Only later did he tell me that he had fooled me. That was just a typical spring day when he was about 8 years old. As we were driving last night, he mentioned the huge raccoon on the side of road. The minute he said raccoon, I thought of our camping trip in High Springs. The raccoons tried to eat our s'more stuff. On one of those days of camping, Timmy hand fed a deer. I held my breath as he did it. All of those days seem so far away and yet like they were just yesterday. So, today is just another day. It is a day where I miss my child so much that the tears are just a second away. I am proud of him and I know he has to go. I just wish it wasn't so far away. If you see me driving down the road - crying at a stoplight - it is because it is just another day that my son is so far away.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
When Tim II was on leave in December, I took them to get the pictures done. I had ordered special outfits for Savannah and Sebastian to coordinate with Tim II's uniform. You may recognize Sebastian's outfit as his Halloween costume because he went as what he called an "Army guy". I was so pleased with the way the pictures turned out. I have been getting my kids pictures done since Timmy was 5 days old. I think I counted and I have been to about 40ish photo sittings between all the kids. There have been a few family ones here and there too. Needless to say, I have experience with portrait studios. The woman at our Columbia SC JC Penny's is amazing as was the man who did these pictures. I have had years where the pictures are just okay. This year, I have loved all of the kids pictures. I have them hanging on my wall and each time I look at them - I am just overwhelmed that I have been given these kids. I mean - who knew? Who knew that when I knocked on Tim's door over 22 years ago that some day I would be getting our 3 kids pictures done together. Who knew that my heart would feel such pride when I look at our oldest child in his US Army uniform? Who knew that my little guy would look so much like his big brother? Who knew that my daughter would have a smile that brings me pure joy? I surely didn't see all this. I hoped and I prayed for a family, but I didn't know for sure. God is AWESOME!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I know... I know... I haven't been writing. I want to. I do. I just haven't had the time or the energy. We went to Florida for 10 long, tedious days. Ugh! It was a lot of work. Something we would both like to forget. Our house is on the market. Ugh! I don't want to think about that. I have handed it over to a realtor and God. That is all I could do. I cleaned, painted, help fix and everything else I could manage to accomplish. It is all I could do and now it is all up to God. Tim did so much work and never even lost it. I wish I could say the same. Thank God for my mom who talked me through my hyperventilating phone call at some point during our trip. Gratitude... that is what this post will be about. I am thankful for my husband. He worked and worked and worked some more to fix our house. The renters left us quite a job. He just got to work and did an amazing job. I am so lucky to have him! My mom... she is always there when I call. I call and I complain and cry and she just listens. She doesn't tell me that if she hears me whine about this house one more time - she will hang up on me. She just listens and tells me to have faith. Tim's parents... they gave us their spare room and let us come and go like we were at a hotel. We just worked so much and barely spent any time actually visiting. My sister-in-law, Jessica... she made brownies and let me know there was ice cream and toffee bits to go with it. She knew I would be needing that chocolate. Then there are 3 other AMAZING PEOPLE! Alex, Susie and Cindy. Oh my - where to start... These are 3 ladies that have been my friends for a long time. Each of them has a daughter that Savannah is friends with. I formed my friendships with them through our girls. When we got to Florida, I dropped Savannah off with Miss Alex and her daughter Seraphina. Savannah spent a couple days there, then I dropped her off with Miss Susie and Elizabeth for a couple days. Next, a day back with Seraphina and then a couple days with Miss Cindy and Lauren. I didn't have to think of a thing for Savannah. They swooped in and helped. Alex took Sebastian to play at her house twice, so I could paint. At one point, I had FORGOTTEN about picking Savannah up to take her to another house. Susie called me and asked if I would like her to take Savannah to the next house. I looked at the time and couldn't believe I was an hour over when I said I would call and pick her up. I was so flustered. Susie was so sweet and said she would just take her over to Alex. At that exact moment, Alex rang my doorbell. She said she was out and decided to stop and see if she could pick Savannah up for me to help me out. I nearly cried. I had Susie on the phone trying to help me and Alex at my door trying to help me. I seriously was overwhelmed with gratitude. My friend, Cindy, picked Savannah up for co-op (yes, they all even made sure she got to her homeschool co-op and girl scouts) and took her home. Then Cindy made pizza for Susie, me and her. I just got to sit and relax with good friends. When we decided to stay an extra day because we still had work to do - Cindy just kept Savannah for another day. It felt good to know my child is so loved by her friends and their families. She was gone for most of the 10 days and I knew she was always in good hands. So, I have so much to be thankful for even if these are some of the hardest days of my life right now. Faith... Family... and a week or so of the best of Friends...