Saturday, May 17, 2008

My dad...


It has been 10 years, today, since my dad passed away. I wondered why my mom was really wanting us all to go to dinner together and then it hit me - what day is it? Sure enough I looked at the calendar and there it was. 10 Years. Where did 10 years go? I have had two babies since then. We have moved twice. 10 Years. It is a long time and in some ways not so long. I told Savannah and Sebastian it had been 10 years today. They never met their grandpa. Timmy was my only then. My dad loved him to pieces. He was "Timmy Boy" to my dad. If there was ever a good reason to have your children while you are young it is so your parents have more years with them. I was pregnant with Savannah when my dad passed away. The very week he was in the hospital, I had my ultrasound that said it looked like she was probably going to be a girl. I remember going to his hospital room and telling him, "We think we have ourselves a girl!" He asked me what we were going to name her. I told him "Savannah". He said that was a "hillbilly name". I know it sounds harsh, but it wasn't. It was his sense of humor. He was really happy we were going to have a brand new baby girl soon. My dad was sick for a really long time before he died. You would have thought we were prepared for him to go home. It was still a surprise to all of us.

I wasn't a daddy's girl when I was growing up. I was (still am) a mommy's girl. My dad was a good dad. He took care of us and made sure we didn't go without. He wasn't mean or angry. Sure, he had a booming voice and many people thought he was scary. I never really thought that about him. He was just dad - with the big voice. I remember being very little and sitting in his lap while he would read the newspaper. He seemed HUGE to me. Great big arms and could hold the whole paper wide open to read it. I remember being older and going to work with him on Saturday morning sometimes. I remember stopping at the Clark's gas station for candy. He brought me out a Hershey's with Almonds Big Block Bar. I was so excited. When my niece, Sarah, was born, we would take her to visit his friends. She was maybe 1 year old at the time. He loved his Sarah Bearah. He had so much pride bringing her to all of his friends' houses. When I got pregnant, it was hard for my dad at first. I was 16 and had chosen to plan to start my family. Some parents would be angry and not help. My dad was angry. Then he helped. He made sure I had everything I needed. On the day that Timmy was born, he was right there. When they wheeled me from the delivery room, my arms felt heavy and I thought I would drop Timmy off the cart. I handed him to my dad. That was the beginning of a wonderful 9 year relationship between my dad and Timmy Boy. He got sick right after that. Oh, what a struggle he had ahead of him. It was a long battle. The following year, we told him we were getting married. He wasn't walking at the time. He got into rehabilitation and he got himself walking with a walker and then a cane. He walked me down the aisle. My scrapbook page says that "Parents are supposed to be proud of their kids on their wedding day, but I was proud of my dad." I was so happy to have him walk me down the aisle.

My kids are all daddy kids. They love me and they have fun with me, but they adore their dad. I loved my dad and I knew he loved me. What really stuck out to me though was the old saying that says something about children feeling loved when their father loves their mother. My dad LOVED my mom. He adored my mom. If there was one thing I could say about my dad it would be how much my mom meant to him. It was a good way to grow up. I hope my dad is proud of who I have become. I hope he has been watching my kids grow up. He would get such a kick out of them. I love you dad!

3 comments:

lflch said...

We have been running here and there trying to find a suit jacket for Chris, for the wedding. He's lost quite a bit of weight since we got married, wish I could say the same for me. Anyway we just realized his suit jacket from our wedding is too big. We just got home. I sat down and read your blog and realized what day it was. I saw the pic and just started balling. The time has gone so fast, and there have been so many times I thought oh I wish I could tell Dad this or show him something. Well I got a surprise, I always thought you were Daddy's girl. I remember going with him on Saturdays to get the car wash or pick up donuts. When Sassy was just a puppy, he let me wrap her up in a towel and take her to the car wash with us and of course who can forget the great Christmas Eve rides he took us on. Those were the best. Love you Dad.

Sarah M said...

So I am crying my eyes out after reading your post. I always think about Grandpa around this time and wish he was here to be with all of us. I am so glad I got to be his Sarah Bearah. I was listening to "Around the Town" the other day, and Grandpa said something about, 'How's my Sarah Bearah. and then he said he was looking at his bear watch and thinking about me. It seemed like he was in the room with me. I can't wait to see him again one day. I love you, Grandpa.
-Your Sarah Bearah-

Anonymous said...

Your dad, my brother, we danced, we sang, we fought and made up...we hugged and kissed. He was MY brother, and then he married Lynn, My sister-in-law. Now, I am twice blessed. You kids all must stick together. That is what family is all about honey. He loved all of you kids, and your Mother. He would call me and leave a message saying "call your brother" - it was funny and we would laugh at it. We used to dance when we were teenages to "Kansas City" - in the old basement. I will dance with my brother and my twin sister again. The song will be "going to Heaven City" - I love all of you kids, and your kids. Love, Tuse xo - time flies, memories last! I miss him and Tuse Kathy so much. God Bless you all, my little Kari!